What People Wore/Did not Wear to Coachella

Ok so Coachella happened.  Tupac hologram, gas explosion, Thom York's DJ set, blah blah blah.

Prior to Coachella I felt that if I had to look at another festival lookbook online again, I would have to burn every fringe dress I own.  Burn!!!

It's like everyone said "What?  It's April?  Then it must be festival time!!!!"  I thought music festivals were for THE MUSIC.  Turns out they're for slashed denim booty shorts, overpriced feather headwear, and side boob.

Don't get me wrong.  Girl's gotta look bangin' anywhere she goes but all these festival lookbooks just had me wanting to go where fringe isn't allowed.

Then beginning last week and going into this week you see fashion blogs talking about what people wore to Coachella.  Well guess what?  I'm sure you found that somewhere else, so in lieu I  will list off some things I am pretty sure people DID NOT wear to Coachella:

I bet no one wore ice skates.  It's totally impractical, and how are you supposed to catch the Black Keys at one stage and run over to see the Artic Monkeys 15 minutes later at another stage?  Impossible.

 

The Hope Diamond.  I am pretty certain no one wore this since there is only one and its super protected by very high tech lasers (or so I learned from the movies).  Show me pics if you did in fact see someone rocking this at Coachella and I will show you a big fat liar.

You would have to be really thick-skulled and confused about how climate works to think wearing a winter jacket to Coachella was a good idea. It was like 570 degrees and dry as hell.

A live, un-sedated King Cobra snake.  Yes it would be totally bad ass but I am pretty sure no one wore one around their neck to Coachella- at last not this year.

Ok but to give you what you want in case you missed it on any other sites,  here were some highlights of what the Celebz (cuz seriously that's all we care about) wore to the music festival of the year:

Oh Rihanna.  She always dresses awesome.  I am in a love/hate relationship with her however.  This move made it love again though- the clever comeback that it is.  Say no to Drugs....

Dita Von Teese.  Really went with her sailing theme... although she is about 150 miles away from the high seas.

 Crochet and tribal?  C'mon Port, aren't you a fashion designer?  These ensembles would be fine on anyone else, but aren't you supposed to be starting trends, not following them? It's like she googled "what do people wear to Coachella" and went with it.

This gem of a lady looking just fine.  I ain't mad atcha.  And who is that guy?  And why does he think he can get this close to Lilo?

Vanessa Hudgens was pretty much the mascot of Coachella this year.  Hippy gear? Check.  Crop top? Check.  Tassels? Check.  Sun Hat? Check.  Rainboots? Check.  Backpack? Check.  Fingers giving the peace sign? Check.  Braids and feathers? Check and double Check.  It's like she was on some sort of Coachella scavenger hunt.  And won obviously.

Kate Bosworth.  I like them boots girl.  And lace is always a festival must-have: breathable and sexy, yet classy.  She played it safe and I can respect that.

Katy Perry.  She had this years festival must have: the floral head gear. Overall she looked cutesy, vintage and I am pretty sure she is wearing creepers in that middle shot so, it's all good in my book.  Love that lace dress.

David Hasselhoff.  The man can do no wrong.

Hope you enjoy our Coachella round up!  If it sounded snarky at any points it's cause we are secretly jealous we didn't get to go...we had way too much work to do.